Bad things come in threes
by TheOtherWorldliNess
Summary: Deidara realises bad things come in threes. First, he loses both his arms. Second, Kakuzu isn't around to fix them and third? He's stuck, in the base, with Hidan. Joy. T for language!


A/N: I took time from writing another story to write this. I think the idea's absolutely hilarious, but we shall see, ne? No yoai, no pairings, just harmless humour.

Disclaimer: Do not own. End of conversation.

--

When Deidara lost his arm to the Kazekage, he knew that this mission was only going to get worse. This was proved when he lost his second arm to the copy cat ninja. And when he got beaten by the four clad in very strange clothes and hairstyles. And when he found that his stupid partner had gotten himself killed. And then, of course, he had to have Tobi, the idiot, replace Sasori. What really took the cake, however, was that when he got back to base with his new partner and Zetsu, he found the Kakuzu was on a mission.

Deidara would not have his arms for a whole week until the stitched nukenin came back off of his bounty mission. And considering the only people he shared the mini-base with was 'The Zombie Twins' as he had named them, and his partner, all he had was Hidan for companionship. Because Tobi, still able to do missions, was helping Zetsu spy.

Fuck. That.

Deidara noticed that the hardest part of having no arms was eating. The fuck was he asking Hidan to feed him, because, not only would it hurt his ego the size of a small country, but it would also increase Hidan's, which was the size of a small _planet_. There was also the fact that Hidan could refuse. So the blonde had to get a plate, and, because there was no 'ready made' stuff, he had to eat boiled rice. Mmm… Yummy.

What was the most embarrassing thing, however, was the fact that Hidan came in once, watching him eat. Of course, the younger man having no arms, he had to eat face first. The immortal found this absolutely hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that he laughed the whole way though Deidara eating. Deidara wanted to kill him, but decided that he would wait until he had his arms back, which were slowly decomposing.

The next day, for dinner, Deidara set about making his rice again. Hidan, having the most impeccable timing ever, came in halfway through and took over, only making twice as much. He waved Deidara away every time the blonde came close. The younger, thoroughly confused, watched the platinum haired one from afar, wondering if he were trying to poison them both. Because, he being immortal, only Deidara would die.

When Hidan came to the table with two plates of rice and no cutlery, Deidara realised the immortal's evil scheme. He was here to mock him. The blonde, having no other option, started to slowly eat his rice. Hidan laughed at him, occasionally throwing some rice into the other blonde's hair, severely irritating the younger. After he got so pissed off, he snapped at Hidan.

"If you're so smart, you do it, un!" He hissed, and Hidan grinned. The older did just that, eating just as Deidara had. If it had been any other time, any other circumstance, any other person, the blonde would've found it funny. But not here, not now, and definitely not with Hidan. But, being the evil schemer that he was, he came up with a plan.

"You're a dumbass for doing that, you know?" Deidara stated casually, everything riding on this one statement. Come on, come on, come on… Hidan snorted. Deidara grinned at the albino, who raised his head in horror of what he had just done. His pale face was tinged with green, looking down on the rice which was the same. The younger blonde started giggling, laughing, and eventually fell on the floor.

"You can fucking clean up. And get yourself off the floor, dumbass." Hidan snapped, stalking out the room. Deidara laughed harder, tears springing in the corner of his eyes until he realised that he had no arms to get himself up with.

"Shit…" Deidara was stuck. Ah, well. It was worth it.

--

A/N: Umm… yeah, now that I read it, it doesn't seem as funny. Oh well. I hope you enjoy! (You don't have to review for this one. I don't like it much XD)


End file.
